Return to the Black Hole
by bookwormlady
Summary: WARNING: SEASON 6 SPOILERS INSIDE! A sequel of sorts to "The Ones We Love to Hate," the inhabitants of The Black Hole discuss recent "Bones" episodes. Note: "Bones" is owned by Hart Hanson and FOX, not me. "The Change in the Game" now up!
1. Introduction

**A/N: First off, apologies for being AWOL on "Closure" - I've been dealing with shingles and neck spasms and NOTHING is getting done around here!**

**Secondly, if you find yourself confused about "The Black Hole" you might want to check out _The Ones We Love to Hate_, the story that sets up the premise. **

**Comments, questions, and suggestions always welcome. :-)**

FBI Agent Peyton Perotta ran down the deserted street, despite the pain of bones broken. The burns didn't hurt, which she knew was a bad thing – it meant nerve damage. And every breath she took was difficult and sent stabbing pains into her chest.

Man, those fanfic writers were _touchy._

She finally came to her destination – The mysterious haven called "The Black Hole." She pulled the door open (her broken fingers screaming in protest) and stumbled inside.

She blinked her eyes against the light in the bar, even though it was dim. She sensed people talking quietly, someone calling out, "Time!" Under the stench of her burnt flesh she smelled nachos.

Then Sid was beside her with a chocolate milkshake in his hand. "First time's rough, Peyton," he said, putting a strong arm around her. "Drink up and you'll be fine."

She pulled on the straw and suddenly her pain was forgotten as her mouth filled with exquisite chocolate flavor. She moaned, but for the first time in recent moments it was in pleasure and not pain. Chocolate like this was almost worth getting hurt for.

She felt tingling throughout her body as her bones reknit themselves, new skin replaced the burnt parts, her breathing grew easier. She drank until she was sucking air, then handed the glass back to Sid with a look of gratitude. "You're the best, Sid."

He grinned. "I know it, Peyton, I know it. Now, what happened?"

She sighed. "I got blown up. I went with Booth and Brennan to a crime scene and it was booby-trapped." She snorted. "_They_ were just fine."

"Tempe didn't shoot you?" Sully asked from his seat at the end of the bar.

Perotta shook her head. She stretched, letting her eyes roam the room. She ignored Sully's grousing, which ended in a burst of soap bubbles as he tried to cuss. To her surprise, she saw Dr. Saroyan collecting some winnings from one of the guys at the big table.

Rebecca came over. "Come on and have a seat. Sid made nachos."

Perotta noticed Jared was at another table, dressed in jeans and a t-shirt advertising Styx. She sat down with Tessa and Rebecca and grabbed a loaded chip. "Wow, I've never seen the place so full."

"Yeah," Dr. Saroyan said, sitting down at Jared's table. "Sid called all of us – said there were some important announcements we needed to hear."

Peyton frowned. She wondered what was going on. Was The Black Hole closing? After her brush with fans she hoped not.

"Yo, Sid!" Jared called. "We all here yet?"

"Waiting for one more, Jarhead," Sid said. He looked up as the door opened. "Ah, here we go."

Peyton stopped breathing when she saw what entered the room. A swirling, dark cloud, _poured_ inside, the door closing behind it.

The FBI agent jumped to her feet, her hand going for her gun. A lot of gagging and soap bubbles filled the room as people reacted with fear (and profanity).

"Guys, guys, I got this!" Sid called, approaching the cloud with a chocolate milkshake in hand. He handed it over, the glass disappearing into the darkness. There was the sound of someone drinking and all at once the cloud vanished with a faint popping sound.

Perotta sank into her seat, her eyes glued to where the monstrosity had been moments before. "What was THAT?"

"Yeah," Sid said, loading a tray with drinks. "That's one of the things we have to talk about. That was one of you."

"What?" said David (Peyton thought it was David – all Brennan's boyfriends seemed to run together in her mind). "What happened to him – her – it?"

"All right," Sid said, passing out sodas and iced tea. "You guys need to stay calm. I have to tell you that while Bookwormlady is generous and kind, she is also…a fanfic writer."

Everyone stiffened. "You're saying…she's – she's – one of THEM?" Jared asked, his eyes filled with fear.

"Yup," Sid said. "And because people who read about us also might read her fanfic, she has to conceal anyone she offs, so as not to spoil things for people."

"What about bets?" Tessa asked. "If we don't know who…"

"She's given me authority to cover it," Sid said. "No worries. Winners will get their money. We just got to keep it under the table."

Sully shook his head. "I can't believe it. I thought she was different! Now you're saying she's just like those – those –"

"Easy there, Sully," Sid warned, returning to the bar and cleaning a glass. "Bookwormlady respects canon to a large extent and so as long as Hart Hanson –" there was a brief pause as everyone bowed their heads to acknowledge their great Creator – "doesn't kill you for the most part you're probably okay."

"'Probably,'" Sully scoffed.

"Yeah, well YOU might have something to worry about, Sully," Sid warned. "The leader of the Sully Haters group has been getting quite friendly with Bookwormlady – she might be able to tempt her to kill you off at least once."

A shudder went through The Black Hole. The thought that the one who had created the safe place could also be part of the reason it was necessary shook all of them.

Peyton bit into another nacho and relished the flavor. At least the food was great.

"Hey Sid," Cam asked, waving a mozzarella stick, "One thing that I've been hearing out there – what are YOU doing here? I don't think there are any fans that hate you…"

Everyone straightened up. It was something they'd all wondered about.

Sid smiled. "Well, it's like this – Bookwormlady needed someone to run this place. Someone unflappable, who could take care of you guys. And I wanted a job." His smile widened. "She says I make an AWESOME French Silk pie."

Everyone considered that as they munched on their goodies. It made sense. And Peyton found herself wondering if Sid's French Silk pie was as good as his chocolate milkshake.

"Okay!" Sid said, clapping his hands. "Now to explain why I called all of you here. Bookwormlady has found a way to allow fans to keep visiting this place and also fill her desire to review episodes." He picked up a remote and pointed it to a wall on the north side of the room.

The wooden planks parted to reveal a large plasma television screen. Perotta heard moans of pleasure from the guys' table. Even Sully brightened, moving from his seat at the bar to get a better look at it.

"See, we're gonna get to watch the episodes. Then we'll talk about them here, and it'll allow Bookwormlady to get her two cents in."

Rebecca nodded thoughtfully. "So everyone has to be here for that?"

"Yup," Sid said. "For purposes of the betting pool, this doesn't count as coming back due to angry fans. So no one has to worry about their bets becoming invalid."

Everyone digested this bit of news. "So, when does this start?" Tessa asked.

"Soon. Bookwormlady also has a fanfic idea she wants to work on, and also her real life writing demands her attention. But since there's gonna be no new episode for over a week, she hopes to get a couple of reviews in."

"So what do we do while we wait?" Perotta asked.

"Well," Sid said with a grin, "You could always try my French Silk pie."

There was a chorus of assent for that idea. Peyton sat back, anticipating some good eating and a chance to vent down the line.

It was better than getting blown up, that was for sure.


	2. The Princess and the Pear

**A/N: First review - trying to catch this up and hope to have a review for "The Salt in the Wound" written and up before Thursday!**

Sid turned the lights back up in The Black Hole as the wooden doors slid in front of the television. "Okay, gang!" he said as he started piling his tray with food and drinks to pass around. "Who wants to go first?"

Everyone in the bar turned and looked at Peyton Perotta. She started to swear, then choked as soap bubbles poured out of her. Of course, they had to start this whole review business with _that_ episode.

"Look," she said. "They keep saying they're partners, right? And if he isn't taken Booth is an amazing man – what available woman wouldn't make a play for him? You have to admit he's quite attractive…"

All the women in the room sighed in agreement. A couple of the men nodded, and Sully rolled his eyes.

"Come on, Peyton," Jared said as he took a swallow of Dr. Pepper (Peyton had introduced him to it on an earlier visit and he liked it a lot), "you heard Seeley talk about her – you should've had a clue!"

"He was on Vicodin!" Peyton said. "And even if he does like her, what about her? She's so clueless it isn't even funny!"

"At least I'm not colorblind," Sully smirked. "Black hair? What was he thinking? Now if I could have another shot at her -"

"You don't think the Sully Haters group hate you enough yet, Sully?" Cam asked. She took a bite of French Silk pie and closed her eyes, moaning. "Sid, Bookwormlady is right – you make an AWESOME pie."

"Okay can we just get back to the episode for a minute?" Michael asked. "I really thought it was fortunate for the team that the intern-of-the-week was Mr. Fisher – what with all his knowledge of things in the fantasy and science fiction realm.

"And did you notice how they sneaked a mention of "Buffy" in there?" Will asked with a touch of admiration. "I mean, that was pretty cool, and all that was missing was a nod to "Angel."

"Yes, it was a treat for geeks in the audience," Tessa said. "And a rather…unique weapon."

"I gotta wonder, given the spoilers that's been coming down, if Booth's throwing his back out and wild reaction to medication is a hint to his future health crisis," Sid mused while he placed a pizza piled high with meat and cheese at the men's table.

"Health crisis?" Jared looked both concerned and hopeful. "Maybe I get to be in another episode?"

"It could happen, Jarhead," Cam said. "I thought this episode was well done overall, except the killer's motive didn't make sense."

"Yeah, I agree," David nodded. "I mean, if he loved her, why not over to give her money instead of killing her?"

Everyone nodded except Sully, who shrugged. "He was nuts. You expect someone who's nuts to make sense?"

Sid shrugged. "It's a matter of opinion, but Bookwormlady would disagree with you, Sully."

"Yeah, what a surprise," Sully muttered as he sampled his order of chili-cheese fries.

"Well, it's not the best episode of the season, but it was okay," Rebecca offered.

"Yeah, that about sums it up," Sid said. He glanced at his watch. "Okay, that's it for now – those of you who wanna go, go!"

Peyton toyed with her pie while Jared and Cam walked out. When Sully left she stood up and pulled out some money. "Here's ten on Sully – 25 seconds and Brennan shoots him."

She figured she could wait that long before leaving. And after doing that episode, she could use winning a bet.


	3. The Bones That Foam

**A/N: And, here's my take on The Bones that Foam!**

**A special note to MickeyBoggs: Haven't forgotten what you said about Sully, will address that in the next chapter :-)**

The minute the credits started rolling on the screen, Sully slammed down his empty glass and stood up. "I gotta get some air."

"Sully, we have to do the review," Sid warned, reaching over and plucking up the dirty glass.

"Just a sec!" Sully snapped as he strode out of The Black Hole. He couldn't take it. Booth got a lap dance, a cool car to drive, an awesome looking royal blue shirt to wear in the last scene, AND the actor got to direct the episode.

Sometimes life was _so_ unfair.

After he returned 25 seconds later, (death by quicksand this time) and was given Sid's life-saving chocolate milk shake, Sully sighed and dropped onto his favorite stool. The trusted proprietor of this strange but cool bar/restaurant placed a plate of fried mozzarella (with a side of marinara) at his elbow, along with a glass of sparkling water. "Feel better?" Sid asked.

Sully grunted. "Man, Booth is a lucky guy."

"I dunno," Will said as he handed Sid some of his winnings in return for a platter of loaded potato skins, "from what I've heard, he's in for some pain."

"Good," Sully muttered.

"Hey!" Jared objected. He was feeling pretty good since he'd heard he would get another shot at an episode this season – to the envy of many of the other inhabitants of The Black Hole. "Seeley's a good guy."

"And I have to admit he looked quite attractive in that blue shirt," Rebecca added.

There was a pause as the women sighed, thinking of Booth. Even Bookwormlady, though she is married to a wonderful man who is her true love, admits that Booth is easy on the eyes. So the women had no guilt.

"The episode was interesting," Cam said, rubbing her temple, "but if that containment breach alarm had gone off ONE more time I might have had to borrow Booth's gun to shoot it."

Sid handed her a double shot mocha latte and a couple of ibuprofen. "I gotta say, Cam, you looked like you were really liking Mr. Nigel Murray there."

The pathologist blushed. "Well, now that I understand him, of course he's much easier to deal with. And he was quite helpful in this episode."

And Hodgins got to say "King of the lab" again," Tessa mused while popping a plump red grape into her mouth. "I have to admit I've missed that."

"Yes, but I could've done without the whole lap dance scene," Cam sniffed. "I mean, really, who wanted to see that?"

Every man except for Sid raised their hands. Sully frowned. "Sid? What's wrong with you?"

"Nothing, Sully," Sid said while he simultaneously refilled the floppy haired former agent's drink, put together a BLT for Agent Perotta, and loaded his dishwasher. "But Bookwormlady wasn't all that crazy about it, and I'm gonna vote with her."

"Wuss," said David, who immediately was choking on bubbles.

Puzzled looks filled the room. "'Wuss' isn't a curse word," Michael said as he pounded David's back.

"No, but Bookwormlady doesn't want you guys dissing me," Sid said. "I'm with the lady, and if you guys don't like it you can eat soap."

A respectful silence fell on the group. Cam cleared her throat. "The foaming bones _were _a clever way to add a ticking clock to the episode," she said.

"True, Michael said, sitting down now that David had spat out the last of the soap bubbles. "Of course, it's entirely impossible in real life."

"Who cares?" Rebecca said. 'I thought it was sweet that Brennan found out that Booth sometimes downplayed his intelligence for her sake – and it's about time she acknowledged he did something better than she does!"

"Oh, and the driving he did to get the truth out of that car salesman?" Jared said, leaning forward with his virgin colada in his hand, "Totally awesome. Seeley was the man in this ep!"

"And we saw the diner again," Sid said. He sighed wistfully. "Maybe, just maybe we'll see my place again at some point…"

"You wouldn't close down this place, would you?" Perotta asked, suddenly looking concerned.

"Naw, I'm here as long as the boss wants me," Sid said. "So, what do you guys say? Good episode?"

"Yeah." "Sure." "Booth still is too lucky" (The last from Sully, who was still nursing a bad attitude.)

"Okay then!" Sid said, clapping his hands. Bookwormlady says she'll try to wrap this up earlier the next time – life's been getting in the way."

Sully sighed. Life really wasn't fair. Maybe he'd just stay here for the week, far away from the annoying fanfic writers who kept their knives sharpened in case he ever stuck his nose out.

Then again…maybe he could find an awesome blue shirt like Booth's and visit Tempe. What could happen?

He cheerfully strode out of The Black Hole, oblivious to the members of the Sully Haters Group who waited and dreamed of even more outlandish things to subject him to…


	4. The Salt in the Wound

**A/N: Yay! Caught up in time for Bonesday! That is, if my internet connection would quit being so flakey...**

**And the health problems mentioned in this tale? Unfortunately, true.**

* * *

**The Black Hole's look at "The Salt in the Wound"**

The mood was somber at The Black Hole as the episode finished. Once again, Bookwormlady had run late with a review. And Sid was uncharacteristically quiet, lacking his usual good cheer.

"Sid, what's up?" Sully asked as he moved back to his favorite barstool. "Did someone die?"

"No, not exactly," Sid sighed as he handed Sully a peach iced tea. "Bookwormlady's been ill. Shingles AND neck spasms."

"Ow," Jared said as he leaned against the bar. Sounds bad. She taking anything?"

"Muscle relaxer," Sid affirmed. "But that's not the worst part. She's been really bummed out about certain spoilers, and the show being bumped a week AGAIN."

"Tell me about it," Jared groused. He'd heard that Fox was probably going to bump the episode he was supposed to be in. There was a reason for everyone to be cranky.

Cam sighed. "There's got to be SOMETHING positive going on!" She moodily plucked a maraschino cherry from her Coke.

"Well," Sid tapped the corner of his mouth, "She wanted me to let Sully know that a reader made a point of telling her that he didn't hate Sully."

Sully brightened. "Really?"

"Yup," Sid nodded. "MickeyBoggs said he thought you were a really nice guy who just wanted different things than Dr. Brennan did."

"Wow," Sully said, smiling. "That's pretty neat."

David groaned. "Okay, if it takes THAT to cheer us up, we are in bad shape! Let's talk about the episode, okay?"

"Sure," Sid said. He began to fill a tray with hot fudge sundaes to pass around. "So, what did everyone think?"

"Well, it was refreshing for me to know better than Dr. Brennan," Can mused, her eyes lighting up at the sundae Sid sat in front of her. "Nice of her to admit it, too."

"That new intern?" Michael spoke up, frowning, "I could see Temperance was losing patience with him. How can a man of science pray five times a day?"

"Watch what you say on that," Sid warned as he handed a sundae and decaf coffee to the professor. "You know Bookwormlady's a devout Christian."

"Well, I'm glad Angela and Roxy are over," Tessa said, licking whipped cream off her spoon. "I mean, let's face it, Angela and Hodgins – it's destiny."

Everyone in the room agreed on that. There were no problems, because they all knew that in addition to being a B/B shipper Bookwormlady was a Hodgela girl.

"The whole episode had a 'ripped from the headlines' feel to it," Will offered. "You had to feel bad that these girls were taking parenthood so lightly."

"Yeah, but the victim? Really, really cold," David said. "I mean, she was trying to blackmail men left and right for that money!"

"True, but it didn't mean she deserved to get murdered," Jared said, sprinkling crushed walnuts on his sundae.

"True enough," Sid said. "You know my favorite part? The end. Booth laid it OUT for that boy!"

"Oh yes," Rebecca said with a sigh. "Seeley just told him about the consequences of his actions and how he should man up and take responsibility – but of course, he himself is such a devoted father."

"Yeah, my brother did a great job with that speech," Jared agreed. "That's something that should be played in classrooms – you can't have sex without consequences."

A small silence filled the room after that. Sid cleared his throat. "So, we done here? New episode up before we know it!"

"Oh, I can't wait!" Cam said. The next episode was going to focus on her – with any luck the insights fans got into her character would keep the fanfic writers happy enough to be nice in their scribblings.

"Will Bookwormlady be back to normal by then?" Sully asked.

"Not sure," Sid said as he brewed a fresh pot of coffee. "Her doc gave her muscle relaxers and instructions to use her Jacuzzi 2-3 times a day."

"Wow, I wouldn't mind a prescription like that!" Agent Perotta said. "You think we could get a Jacuzzi here in The Black Hole, Sid?"

"Sorry, Peyton, can't have everything," Sid said with a shrug.

"Can't blame me for asking," the blond agent shrugged as she dug into her hot fudge sundae.

The room began to become more cheerful now that they all knew a new episode was imminent. Sully even smiled. Someone out there really liked him.

Maybe it would start a trend.


	5. The Doctor in the Den

**A/N: And here's the latest review! Looking forward to the episode this week!**

**Disclaimer: Don't own the show. Do own my opinions.**

**And thanks to MickeyBoggs for pointing out I hadn't changed my name in this from my BY one. For those interested, I do post on the Fox Forums as well...**

* * *

**The Black Hole's Look at "The Doctor in the Den"**

The minute the episode ended, the applause started.

Soon everyone in the room, including Sully, was on their feet, cheering Cam, who sat with her head bent, a happy tear sliding down her cheek.

"Gotta say, Cam, that was a _great_ episode for you!" Sid said. "Bookwormlady was very impressed!"

Cam smiled. "It was so nice of Hart Hanson –" she paused as the room bowed in deference to the mention of the Great Creator – "to give me some backstory. And my friendship with Booth was highlighted as he comforted me. There was absolutely no romantic element to it, either, which should pacify the fans out there."

"Oh, and the female bonding with Angela and Brennan?" Perotta said, her face lit up. "That was wonderful and funny! Why couldn't they do that when _I_ was on the show?:

"Yeah, you're lucky Cam," Sully said, leaning against the bar with his virgin margarita. "I bet you got a whole bunch of fans now, and all I have is some guy that told Bookwormlady they liked me."

"Yeah, about that?" Sid said, "Bookwormlady found out that fan is a female. And she heard from another female fan that she likes you too."

"Really?" Sully's face brightened. "Maybe I can be outta here for longer than three minutes!"

"Hey, can we talk about the rest of the episode?" Jared asked, grabbing a loaded potato skin from the tray Sid was carrying. "This was a decent episode, but the whole 'the dress was black so it covered up the blood thing?' Did everyone at that party not have a sense of smell?"

"Hey," Will said, washing down some peanuts with sparkling water, "isn't this the second episode in a row we got a victim that was less than stellar? He was a horndog, for crying out loud!"

"He was a good man," Cam said, glaring at Will. "He had some flaws, but he loved his daughter!"

"And now you have a kid," Rebecca mused as she dipped a carrot in some french onion dip. "Will we see more of her?"

"Sounds like it," Cam said.

Rebecca sighed. "I miss seeing Parker."

"So does Bookwormlady," Sid said, placing a bread bowl filled with seafood fondue in front of Cam. "She's hoping he'll be around before the season's over."

"You know, I gotta say the whole thing with Clark's girlfriend talking about…stuff…was pretty offensive," Tessa said.

"Really?" Sid said, with a raised eyebrow, "Or are you saything that because you think Bookwormlady thinks that?"

Tessa shrugged. "Hey, it's not a bad idea getting on her good side, is it?"

"Except she doesn't like liars," Sid explained. "But yeah, that was her least favorite part of the episode."

Tessa started to mutter something bad and wound up spitting out soap bubbles. With a shake of her head, Cam wiped some fondue off her lips as she said, "Well, okay, the case isn't as memorable as the personal stuff, but the character development was on target."

"Except for Booth and Tempe," David said. "I mean, it's great that we're exploring your backstory, Cam, but there wasn't a whole lot of progress in their relationship, was there?"

"All in good time," Sid said. "Looking ahead to the next episode, it looks like we'll get some good B/B stuff."

Sully sighed. "And let me guess – Bookwormlady is happy about that."

"You're shocked?" Sid asked with a laugh.

"Well, a toast!" Michael said, standing on his chair with his Tension Tamer Tea held high. "To Cam, for a great episode! May she only have to return to The Black Hole for reviews!"

"Here, here!" everyone chorused.

Cam smiled but did not hurry to leave. After all, the food was great here. And who knew if there wasn't still one upset fan out there…?


	6. The Science in the Physicist

**The Black Hole's look at "The Science in the Physicist"**

"Wow," Perotta said as the lights came up. "Nice episode, but what's with the delay? We're running behind now!"

"I know, I know," Sid sighed as he handed the blond agent a Dr. Pepper. "Part of it is Fox is doing double-time getting all the promised episodes in before the end of May."

Jared nodded as he grabbed a huge bowl of popcorn off the bar. "Yeah, I'm _so_ glad they reconsidered their schedule! It looks like I'm in TWO more episodes this season now!"

"Yeah, yay you," Sully grunted as he took his usual seat at the bar. "Sid, you said that was part of the reason?"

"Yeah," Sid said. "Well, Bookwormlady had to rewatch the episode because she didn't get the first part recorded…and something strange is going on in the Boneyard."

"The…what?" Jared asked.

"The Boneyard," Sid said. "It's the place fanfiction resides on Fox's official website. I've heard Bookwormlady muttering something about 'Boneyard' and 'Parody Challenge…' I think it's distracting her."

"What on earth is a Parody Challenge?" Michael asked waiting with the other group of guys at the big table for their pizza.

"I have no idea," Sid shrugged. "I figure we'll learn about it before too long. But to make it up to you guys, I have two treats – some of Bookwormlady's homemade sourdough bread AND a concert from Angela's dad."

"That's sweet!" Cam said. "But I suppose we ought to get on with our review, yes? I really liked my being ticked off Mom with Hodgins and Mr. Nigel Murray."

"Oh, that was great!" Tessa said. "And did you see how Seeley and Brennan grabbed hands and ran out of the lab like two little kids before they could get caught in the lockdown? It was so cute!"

"I find it interesting that Booth's lack of genius is brought up here," Michael said as he bit into a slice of pizza. "Sid, I must admit this crust is incredible! Is it also sourdough?"

"Yeah it is," Sid said, cutting up a pan of lasagna for the women. "Dr. B. was pretty cute stumbling over herself at the end there – she's learning how to talk to people."

"That resonance chamber?" Cam shuddered. "I got headaches just watching them go through that. The whole keening thing they were doing doesn't make much sense to me –"

"I believe it is plausible," Michael said.

Cam frowned at the interruption. " – but the whole holding hands when they passed out thing? Very precious. So was Dr. Brennan's checking Seeley's jaw after the blind doctor belted him."

"Yeah, that was pretty telling," Sid said. "You can see how the two of them are getting closer. Booth's comment about people leaving marks on each other? Totally true."

"Yep," Sully said, snagging a piece of lasagna from the dish Sid was cutting. "I mean, I _still_ have Tempe's marks on me."

Everyone stared at the floppy haired FBI agent. "What?" he asked. "You guys are really over your relationships with those two?"

"I didn't have a relationship with Agent Booth," Perotta said, rolling her eyes. "I just can't believe you have such a huge death wish."

Sully shook his head. "I guess I'm just the most honest one here."

Jared muttered "_death wish_" and then continued in a louder voice, "Well, the subplot with Angela and her dad? I loved it. It was a nice call back to the end of Season 2 when Mr. Gibbons warned Hodgins about hurting Angela."

"And don't you wonder how Hodgins got out there?" Rebecca asked, smiling as Sid served her table lasagna and a basket of sourdough bread.

"Well, that's quite a tale," a voice drawled, "but I think I'll let your benefactor Bookwormlady tell it."

Everyone sat up expectantly as Billy Gibbons stepped into The Black Hole. The musician looked over his glasses, examining the room. "Nice place you got here, Sid," he said. "No booze and no cussing, did I remember the rules right?"

"Yes sir," Sid said with a smile, handing over a glass of water.

"Well all right then," Gibbons said, sipping his water and then plugging his guitar into the speaker that had conveniently appeared. "Let's get this party started!"

Fanfic writers searching for their victims had a harder time than usual finding them for a few hours as the potential threats to the Booth/Brennan relationship clapped and ate and enjoyed themselves. But the writers are a patient bunch, and they waited, eyes glued to the door of The Black Hole, whispering that those inside better have some major fun, for when they came out, the writers would be waiting…


	7. The Cinderella in the Cardboard

**A/N: Hopefully I'll get "Mayhem on a Cross" up before the new episode tonight. Hope you like this installment!**

**The Black Hole's Look at "The Cinderella in the Cardboard"**

Sully was leaning so far forward in his chair it was a miracle he didn't land on the floor. He shook his head. "I still can't tell. Anybody have a clue?"

A chorus of "no's" answered him. "Sid, can you run it one more time?" Cam asked.

Sid nodded and rewound the scene in question. All the patrons of that place called "The Black Hole" studied the figures on the screen as it played out in marvelous detail on the plasma screen TV (sadly, their benefactor Bookwormlady was watching the episodes on her computer monitor or Ipod, no plasma television in her life, alas).

"Nope," Jared said, sitting back in his seat with a sigh. "I'm still not sure."

Perotta started swearing, which had her spitting out pretty soap bubbles instead of the points she meant to raise. Tessa jumped into the silence. "Well, did Hodgins click "Hate" or just hang up?"

"Definitely clicked 'Hate,'" David said. "I mean, the girl dropped him like a bad habit!"

"No, he hung up," Rebecca argued. "He's totally in love with her – no way he'd click 'Hate.'"

"Unless it was his way of letting her know that he won't hold her back from future relationships with other men," Michael said.

Sid sighed and shut off the television. "Bookwormlady isn't sure either. She was hoping you guys could help."

Perotta spat out yet one more soap bubble and wiped her mouth. "I don't know. But there's more to the episode than that scene, right?"

"Yeah," Sid said. He began pouring drinks for the group. "Nice of them to remember Booth is religious."

"But of course Brennan has to run it down," Rebecca sighed.

"She was correct," Michael said with a frown. "The woman was murdered – it wasn't an image of the Virgin Mary."

"That was an awful looking corpse," Will said with a grimace. "And Angela's reenactment? I cringed."

Everyone in the room grimaced at the reminder of the reenactment. Michael spoke up. "And once again, the victim is a rather unsavory person. Does that bother anyone? "

"Not every murder victim can be a saint, Dr. Stires," Cam said as she sipped her iced tea. "It did give Booth and Brennan a number of suspects."

Rebecca shook her head. "That bridal shop…wow, those women were crazy. And this episode they talked about Dr. Brennan's resistance to marriage again. That shop could hardly encourage her."

"Can we talk about the whole Daisy Wick/Lance Sweets thing?" Jared asked. "I would've accepted Seeley's argument about not saying anything a LOT better if he'd said something like, 'we don't really know what's going on, maybe we should talk to Daisy first.' Just saying Tempe should mind her own business? Not so cool."

"For that matter," Michael spoke up again after swallowing his double chocolate chip cookie, "Temperance prides herself on not jumping to conclusions. She accepted the situation at face value, rather than investigating. That's rather unlike her."

Everyone, even Sid nodded. "It did make for a nice ending though," the bartender said as he handed Tessa a taco salad. "Dr. Brennan all, 'I so want to fall in love,' and Booth just sitting drinking with her…"

Sully shook his head. "It would've been a perfect time for him to make a move. The fact he didn't? I need to go back there and steal her away!"

"After the wrap-up," Sid sighed. "You can get yourself killed on your own time."

Sully started to reply and started gagging on soap bubbles. While he was silenced Sid spoke up. "Okay, people! Anything else you think needs to be said?"

"Angela was Queen of the Lab this episode!" Cam said, raising her cup of green tea. "She pegged that the last photo was a composite, did that brilliant but cringe-worthy reenactment, fixed the cell phone – she was amazing!"

"Agreed," everyone chorused. Even Sully chimed in, albeit a beat behind everyone else as he choked out a final bubble.

"Okay!" Sid said, clapping his hands. "Bookwormlady has some work to finish up but she wants us back soon for the next review – and that means you, Sully."

"Yeah, yeah," Sully said, already heading for the door.

Sid shook his head as the agent exited. He did not participate in the betting the others did. But even he knew that with the fans so primed for Booth and Brennan to get together any attempts by Sully to stop that would result in a quick and messy death by at least one fanfic writer…


	8. Mayhem On a Cross

**A/N: I know I'm behind, but I'll try to catch up as soon as possible!**

Sid brought up the lights as the credits rolled. For a change, silence reigned. It was as if every patron of the mysterious bar called The Black Hole had been hit with a stun gun.

Jared was shaking his head. Did he _know_ that Seeley almost killed himself as a child? Of course at this point the writers hadn't let on one way or another. If he knew it and treated Seeley like garbage, the fanfic writers would kill him – over and over again.

Sully scowled into his drink. How could anyone treat a teenage girl like that? He felt himself growing hot with anger at the thought of someone treating _Tempe_ like that. He wished he could find that couple and give them a preview of Hell right before he sent them there. He might be the most hated character in fanfic history, but he cared about Tempe (in spite of what some fanfic writers thought).

Rebecca was fighting tears. Poor Sweets…to have been scarred like that at around the same age Parker was (she thought – her son's age was something else the writers weren't too clear on)…how terrible. And to have your own parents responsible. Even though she didn't love Seeley, she knew he'd never lay a hand on their son. She herself would cut her arms off before hurting Parker. She loved the boy and was a good mother (in spite of what some fanfic writers thought).

Sid sighed. That ending had been so good, but it was angsty as all get-out. If they were going to ever get around to a review, he'd have to lighten the mood. Fortunately, Bookwormlady had given him something he was sure would help.

With a sharp clap of his hands, Sid called, "Let's get to work! Chop Chop!"

From behind the bar bounced a number of three foot tall bunnies. They were in different colors and hopped around the room, picking up used plates and glasses and bringing them back to Sid.

Cam looked down at her glass right before a dark blue bunny picked it up. "Sid? Did someone spike our drinks?"

"No, Cam, nothing like that," Sid said, loading trays for the bunnies to serve. "These here are Bookwormlady's fanfic bunnies. She's gonna let me borrow them to help out here, since this place has been getting pretty busy."

Tessa reached out to pat a bright yellow bunny as it served her a taco salad and a diet Coke. "They're adorable! But what is a fanfic bunny?"

"It's like a muse," Sid said, handing a tray filled with nachos and a pitcher of sweet tea to a forest green bunny. "They help give her story ideas with her fanfiction and work through plot difficulties. Sometimes, if they get a really great idea, they whine at her until she gives in and writes it."

"Interesting," David said. "What's the black one? Her bad-mood bunny?"

"That's her angst bunny," Sid said. "You don't want to mess with it."

"C'mon Sid, it's just a bunny!" David said, reaching out to grab a black ear.

Two seconds later David was on the floor, hands cupping the very sensitive portion of his anatomy the bunny had just kicked.

Sid shook his head. "I told you." He waited until Will and Jason helped David back into his chair and then said, "Okay, I know the ending blew everyone away, but let's get to the rest of the episode, shall we?"

"Wait!" Peyton said. "Before we do, can we have a moment to sigh about Dr. Wyatt being on? I mean, he was totally wonderful!"

After Sid nodded, everyone in The Black Hole gave a heartfelt sigh. While no one there hated Sweets, Wyatt was their favorite psychologist. They knew he'd never be a regular at The Black Hole since the fans adored him. But perhaps he could visit?

Sid, of course, read everyone's mind. "Hey, it's up to Bookwormlady." What he didn't tell them was that Bookwormlady planned to get the opinion of her readers about letting people like Wyatt occasionally pop in. Hopefully someone would answer.

"Okay, NOW the episode," Sid said, hauling down one of the fanfic bunnies that decided to use a Tiffany lamp as a swing. "So?"

"Okay, the whole metal scene? Weird," Jared said. "But it worked in the case."

Rebecca giggled. "Dr. Sweets as a metal guy? Who would've thought?"

"Boy, Tempe was awesome in that interrogation," Sully grinned. "Man, I know some FBI agents not nearly as good!"

"And Sweets and Wyatt work quite well together," Michael said thoughtfully as he took a cup of mint tea from a fanfic bunny.

"The case was interesting," Cam said with a nod. "And the motive made a kind of sense, thanks to the fact the metal community was fairly well established."

Sully was still going over Tempe's trashing of that one metal head, murmuring "There are no rock concerts in prison" in the same singsong voice.

Irritated, Perotta bounced an orange off his head. While he glared at her, she said, "Okay, I want to know who's aware of the sexual tension between the two. I say Booth. Dr. Brennan does not strike me as cognizant of such things."

"Oh, no way!" Will argued. "Didn't you see how she patted his chest when she returned the handkerchief?

"I'd say you could make an argument for either one," Sid said as he polished the bar. "In any event, it was a good episode – well worth rewatching."

Everyone nodded their agreement. This was definitely one of the better episodes. And it had been so nice to get some many new episodes all at once, but…

"Sid?" Cam asked with a frown, "How far behind in reviews is Bookwormlady now?"

The bartender did a quick mental count. "Three."

Everyone groaned. "What are the chances of catching up before the finale?" Michael asked.

"Hey," Sid growled. "You guys think it's easy to juggle everything? You get her to upset about the lateness and she might close this place! How'd you all like that?"

Silence descended on the place. Even the fanfic bunnies froze.

"She…she really wouldn't do that, would she?" Rebecca asked in a small voice.

Sid sighed. "No, she wouldn't," he admitted. "Just cut the woman some slack, okay?"

Everyone nodded sheepishly and went back to their food and drink before braving the outside world. None of them wanted The Black Hole to close. And if that meant being patient – well, it was a small price for safety.

**A/N2: So? What do you think? Should some other characters guest star in "The Black Hole?" And if so, who would you like to see?**


	9. Harbingers in the Fountain

A/N: Sorry for the length of time it took to update this. The fanfic bunnies say they are very sorry and it won't happen again...

Disclaimer: I do not own the show. This is a parody.

And if you are confused as to what's going on, check out my story, "The Ones We Love to Hate."

Spoilers for "Harbingers in the Fountain."

* * *

**The Black Hole's Look at "Harbingers in the Fountain."**

In the end, it was Sully who snapped.

"THAT DOES IT!" he shouted, standing up so fast the bar stool was knocked over. A couple of nearby patrons of The Black Hole glanced up, but everyone else was staring at the front of the place with a mixture of amusement and horror.

The fanfic bunnies ignored Sully at first, continuing their dance moves and singing (more or less) to the loud music. The ex-FBI agent stabbed the "Eject" button of the CD player and yanked out the shiny disk that spun there. Before anyone could stop him, he snapped it in two. "There! Now can you guys _please_ give it a rest?"

The fanfic bunnies wailed, tears rolling down their furry cheeks. Behind him Sully heard a few quiet cheers and Jared's voice muttering to someone, "I TOLD you he'd crack first.

Sid stepped out from the back, and looked at the broken CD in Sully's hands. "You didn't."

"Come on, Sid, it's not funny anymore!" Sully said, tossing the broken pieces on the floor. He glared as the hot pink fanfic bunny quickly scooped them up, chirping something about tape. He rolled his eyes. "And WHO uses "Eye of the Tiger" for their wedding recessional? Who?"

"Bookwormlady's oldest son and his bride did," Sid answered. **(A/N: this is completely true)** "And unless you wanna get booted outta here you'll settle down."

Peyton brushed back her long blond hair. "In all fairness, Sid, we've barely been able to watch the episodes, never mind talk about them. Didn't they just show the 4th one?"

"That Bookwormlady is just lazy," Will muttered. That caused several fanfic bunnies to spray him with Vault until he was sputtering.

"She is not lazy!" Sid growled, not correcting the bunnies on their behavior. "She's had a full load to carry and you guys just better not keep dissing her. I don't HAVE to serve you wedding cake, you know."

Everyone shut up at the mention of wedding cake. The gang had loved it from the first bite and hadn't tired of it yet. Sully picked up his barstool and slumped back on it while Will asked Sid for some wet wipes.

The caretaker of The Black Hole tossed over some wipes for Will and called the bunnies over for a hushed conference. After a few moments of whispering the bunnies obediently swung into motion, slicing up wedding cake and pouring glasses of cold water for everyone.

"All right," Sid said. "The bunnies will try to cut down on their partying so you guys get a chance to review episodes. In return, there will be no more breaking of their CD's." Sid raised an eyebrow at Sully. "You got that?"

"Yeah, yeah," Sully said, raising his hands in surrender. "I just wanna get to talking about the episodes, is that a crime?"

"No," said Cam. She sipped her water thoughtfully. "The crime in this episode was almost…forgettable, wasn't it?"

Michael shrugged. "It was a bit farfetched that a psychic – a psychic! – could sense the bodies. Good heavens, this isn't supposed to be a show about – about vampires and magic and –"

"We got it, Michael, we got it," Jared said, raising a hand to stop the other man's tirade. "You know, Cam, you were really sweet to Seeley in the bar while he was trying to sort himself out there."

"Thanks, Jared," Cam smiled as she licked some frosting off her fork. "I was a little worried about him. It was so hard for him to come back from that surgery. And then Brennan leaving…"

"Hey," Sully snorted. "He kept thinking they were married. If it'd been me, I would've run too."

He then yelped in pain as the black angst bunny kicked him in the shin. Michael shook his head. "Sully, Sully, you KNOW she runs when she's afraid of strong emotions. And apparently she thought Booth would be all right – I can't imagine her leaving otherwise."

Everyone nodded at that statement. Tessa fished a cherry out of her water. "That scene when Booth rushed in to save Brennan and held her? Ooo, that was such a great B/B moment."

Everyone gave a happy sigh at that. Cam added. "And when he said "I love you" and she got that deer-in-the-headlights look and he backtracked?"

Another happy sigh. Then Rebecca frowned. "But what was Sweets pulling with those brain scans?"

"Death wish," David said as he popped a handful of nuts into his mouth. "He'd better be careful or he'll wind up in HERE."

Everyone contemplated that for a moment. Finally, Cam spoke up. "Daisy wouldn't have to come with him, would she?"

Sid shrugged. "All up to the boss. So, I take it you like this episode?"

"Yeah, it had some good moments," Jared said. Everyone nodded their assent.

"Okay! We'll let the bunnies take a break and then we'll get back at it!" Sid said, producing a new CD with a flourish. The fanfic bunnies squealed in delight and headed straight for the CD player.

Sully groaned as he finished his water and cake. He decided he'd risk the outdoors for the moment. As the bunnies sang along with the music in various keys Sully looked over at his comrades and saw identical looks on all their faces.

Until the fanfic bunnies got this out of their system, it was gonna be a LONG season.


	10. The Bond in the Boot

**A/N: See? I'm trying to catch up! Really!**

**Disclaimer: I don't own "Bones." Looking at my budget I won't own the Season 4 DVD's for a month or two...**

* * *

**The Black Hole's Look at "The Bond in the Boot."**

Sid was in the back, fixing some snacks when he heard a small explosion accompanied by alarmed cries and the sounds of people coughing up soap bubbles.

With a sigh he flipped a dishtowel over his shoulder and went to see what had happened _now_.

He came into the main room and discovered that the fanfic bunnies had created a miniature geyser to spurt up in the middle of the floor, trying to copy what Bookwormlady and her husband had seen in Yellowstone. The result was nothing like Old Faithful but powerful enough to drench everyone in the room.

Sid groaned. "Okay, bunnies! Clean up the mess!" He looked over his patrons, noticing everyone but Sully was present and quite ticked off. "Hold on a sec, guys, I'll get you dried off."

A moment later, warming fans whirled to life, making everyone dry and comfortable. The fanfic bunnies took down the geyser and hid it in the room in the basement they thought Sid didn't know about.

As Sid started giving his slightly damp crew instructions, Sully sauntered in.

"About time, Sully," Jared grumbled.

Sully spun around and pointed a finger at Jared. "The name's Sullivan…Tim Sullivan."

Sid shook his head as he ran his hands through his hair. He should have seen this coming following this particular episode. "Sit down, Sully, it's not been the best of days already."

The ex-FBI agent shrugged and plopped on his favorite bar stool. "Sure, man." He sniffed the air and frowned. "Sulfur? What's going on?"

"Long story," Sid said, shaking his head as he placed a virgin margarita down in front of Sully. "Now that everyone's here, let's chat about the episode, okay?"

Everyone nodded. Tessa closed her eyes and sighed. "Oh, that final scene, with Seeley and Dr. Brennan under the sink? What an awesome B/B moment!"

All the women and fanfic bunnies sighed happily remembering that scene. "I'm glad we're close," Cam repeated softly. "Oh, I'm so glad they're advancing the relationship!"

"And kudos to you guys, Cam, for making sure Wendell got to stay," Jared said, raising his cup of coffee in salute. "I like that Squint."

Cam smiled. "So do we. It's hard to imagine getting rid of almost any of them."

"What about the whole money thing?" Rebecca asked, digging into her Dutch apple pie a la mode. "Does it really bother guys when women make more money than them?"

"Yes," chorused the guys.

"Well, that's just silly," Rebecca shrugged.

"Booth did point out that there were things that were more important than money, though," Jared said. "It was a good point – I saw Tempe really taking it in."

"And I gotta say, Booth OWNED Rutledge!" Sully said, banging his fist on the counter for emphasis. Sure, he saw Booth as a competitor for Tempe, but that didn't mean Sully didn't like the guy.

"That's true," David nodded. "And I found his motivating Bray with a hockey analogy really cool!"

Everyone nodded.

"Sooo…" Perotta stirred her strawberry milk shake. "Just what was on that USB drive?"

Everyone shrugged. They had no idea, and wondered if there was going to be a future episode about it.

"Well, that murder vic was cool," Will said. "I'm glad he got on the wall – he deserved it."

"Yeah, he did," Sid said, grabbing some empty glasses off the Rebecca and Tessa's table. "So why don't you all relax and we'll get to the next episode soon. Okay?"

Will and Michael got up to leave for a short break. Peyton and Cam joined Tessa and Rebecca for a quick game of Yahtzee. The fanfic bunnies took a long look around and began to oh-so-casually make their way to the door to the basement…

Sid stood in front of them. "I don't think so," he warned. "You want me to get Sullivan, Tim Sullivan on your case?"

With grumbles and covert looks to each other, the fanfic bunnies went back to work, wondering if they could inspire Bookwormlady to kill Sully off in the near future…


	11. The Plain in the Prodigy

**A/N: I know this chapter isn't as good as the others. Wanted to upload it so I can start on "The X in the File" and hopefully update this in a more timely fashion.**

**Disclaimer: Nope, I don't own Bones.**

* * *

**The Black Hole's Look at "The Plain in the Prodigy:"**

Sid snarled as he was booted off the Internet yet again. He stomped out of his office and into the main area of The Black Hole, the strange place for BONES characters that were deemed a threat to the eventual romantic relationship of Seeley Booth and Temperance Brennan.

"That's ENOUGH!" he bellowed at the multicolored bunnies who were each commanding a laptop at the bar. "How many times do I have to tell you the show's Tweetpeat is OVER?"

Everyone – fanfic bunnies, show characters, even some fanfic writers fell silent, staring at Sid as if he'd sprouted a second head.

Sid sighed and massaged his temples. "I'm sorry, guys, okay? It's been a rough few months around here."

The fanfic bunnies hung their heads in shame. They'd gotten into a spat with Bookwormlady's muse, who explained to them that she couldn't spend all her time writing fanfiction, she was trying to get published. That made the fanfic bunnies so mad they'd stomped off to parts unknown in a huff. Sid had finally tracked them to California, where they'd been spending time parked outside the FOX studios hoping to sneak in somehow.

Sully sighed and ran a hand through his hair. "Look, we said we were sorry." He turned to Cam, who sat alone in the corner. "Come on, Cam, I'm sorry, okay? I didn't mean to say you were a traitor to us."

Cam winced at the FBI agent's words. It had gotten out that some fans thought that she should no longer have to seek refuge in The Black Hole since she was now a huge supporter of the B/B relationship. Sully and the others had taken it personally, and Cam herself felt as if she was no longer welcome, despite Sid's assurances to the contrary.

"Way to go, idiot," Jared muttered out of the corner of his mouth.

Tessa sighed and moved to sit near Cam. "Look, we should all be as fortunate with the fanfic writers as you are. We were just jealous. Okay?"

Cam swallowed and looked up at Sid. "Bookwormlady said I could stay?"

"Of course you can," Sid assured her. "It's all up to you."

"Well," she said, "I'd miss reviewing the episodes. And your cooking Sid. Can we get something to eat and talk about one of the recent episodes?"

"Absolutely," Sid said, clapping his hands. 'Bunnies! Stow the laptops and let's get these people some food and drink!"

"Which episode will we be discussing?" Michael asked as he took a sip of water flavored with a lemon wedge.

"The Plain in the Prodigy," Sid replied.

Immediately all the women in the room teared up. The black angst bunny ran around handing out tissues while sniffling.

"Oh, great," Sully said, rolling his eyes. "Why that one, Sid?"

"Well, it was the most recent episode, despite being a rerun," Sid said, putting drinks on a large round tray for a bunny to distribute. "And Bookwormlady really liked it."

"It was so touching!" Rebecca said, wiping her eyes. "That sweet boy, his loving parents…"

Deputy Director Hacker shifted in his seat. He was new to the Black Hole, and wasn't really comfortable with the place yet. But he'd already had a taste of the fans' ire, and so thought he should earn his keep. "I was surprised that the murderer was just some petty thief, but in reality I'm certain that happens more often than not."

"But I don't understand why the boy would give up his music," Michael said, shaking his head. "For a girl? For a so-called God?"

"Hey," Sid warned, putting a BLT in front of Cam, "careful with the 'so-called God' comments. You know Bookwormlady is a devout Christian."

"But I don't understand it!" Michael exploded.

"Hey," Jared shrugged. "To someone with faith, some things aren't as important. I totally got it."

"Tempe's really grown," Jared said thoughtfully as he sipped a Diet Dr. Pepper. "In the past she'd tell those parents that there was no such thing as God when they didn't want the DVD player. Saying she thought God would understand instead? Wow. That was great of her."

Everyone nodded. "The music was wonderful," Rebecca said with a dreamy look on her face. "It would make a beautiful soundtrack."

"Sure would," Sully agreed. "And – I mean, they really did tug at the heartstrings…" his voice faltered.

"Sully!" David said, standing to approach the FBI agent. "Are you _crying_?"

"No!" Sully stammered, swiping at his face. "I just…I got something in my eye, okay?"

Everyone laughed. "Well," Sid said. "This review is short and maybe not up to par, but Bookwormlady wanted to get it out tonight one way or another. So, here's to a great episode, with hopes of many more!"

"Here, here!" everyone said, raising their glasses in return.


	12. The X in the File

**A/N: A look at last week's episode...**

**Disclaimer: didn't get Bones as an anniversary gift. Got a nice new TV to watch the show on instead...**

* * *

**The Black Hole's Look at "The X in the File"**

Sid knew something was up when he turned the corner to head to his office and saw a bright blue fanfic bunny attempting to look casual as it stood in front of the door.

The bartender/manager of the Black Hole sighed. The last week or two had been just plain _weird_ – even for this place. Wondering what was going on THIS time, he strode right past the bunny and pushed the door open.

The fanfic bunny barely had time to squeak in alarm before Sid caught sight of Jared and Deputy Hacker hunched over his computer. "What's up, guys?"

Both men's heads snapped up, guilty looks flashing across their faces. Jared glared at the bunny that cowered behind Sid. "You were supposed to warn us!"

Tears filled the animal's huge eyes. Sid paused to scratch it between the ears before heading for his desk. "What are you guys doing?"

"Nothing –" Andrew's hand went for the mouse but Sid was faster. He turned the screen. What he saw there irritated him.

"You're not," he groaned. "Tell me you're not trying to hack into Bookworm1958's Netflix account!"

"C'mon, Sid!" Jared protested. "I mean, she really, really hasn't ever watched an _X-files_ episode? Seriously?"

"You must admit it is rather odd, Sid, given her love for science fiction," Andrew pointed out.

"I don't care. Hacking into her accounts is a sure way to get into trouble," Sid said as he leaned over and clicked out of the Netflix website.

A green fanfic bunny dashed in, skidding and colliding with the blue one. Amid the squeaks they both uttered the newcomer indicated there was a problem in the main area.

Sid rolled his eyes. "Great. Come on," he said, pulling both bunnies off the floor. "That means you two geeks, too."

Andrew shook his head as he watched Sid leave. "Tell me, Jared, is it always this…this _strange _around here?"

Jared shook his head as he exited the office. "Andrew, you have NO idea…"

They came into the main room to find Cam with her head in her hands. Sully, Perotta, and Rebecca were all trying to talk to her.

Sid knelt down in front of the woman, knowing she'd been very stressed out lately. "What's wrong, Cam?"

"I can't believe I forgot to mention it," Cam muttered. "After what he did for me, and I didn't even say anything in the review of 'The Plain in the Prodigy'…"

"None of us did," Rebecca pointed out. "And it was wonderful…the way Seeley put the fear of God into that boy…he knows you're grateful, Cam."

"And I bet it was one of Bookworm1958's favorite scenes, too," Perotta said, rubbing her friend's back.

"Yup," Sid said, taking a slice of French silk pie from one of the bunnies and putting it on the table. "Look, it's been crazy. We got it said now, it's all cool, just take a deep breath and have some pie."

"Personally, I don't think it was that big a deal…" Sully muttered. When everyone gave him a glare, he sighed and went back to his barstool. "Right."

Cam smiled her thanks at Sid. "Well, it may be crazy here, but it's better than the lab at the moment. Angela and Wendell…"

She was interrupted by the hissing of the fanfic bunnies. Michael looked startled. "I thought Wendell was a good guy."

"Of course he is!" Tessa said, sipping a Shirley Temple. "He just shouldn't be with Angela. Poor Hodgins!"

Perotta nodded as she traced a pattern on the wood table she shared with Cam and Rebecca. "He deserves better. The poor man is trying to take the high road but it's so clear he's in pain."

"It won't last," Sully said from the bar as he grabbed a handful of nuts. "It's supposed to be Hodgela."

When he saw everyone staring at him, he rolled his eyes and started to swear, which caused pretty soap bubbles to come out of his mouth. When he spit the last one out, he continued, "Hey, I'm not totally stupid."

"What about the case?" Will asked. "I mean, there was some cool stuff in this episode!"

"The truth is out there," intoned all the fanfic bunnies, even the angst bunny, who was getting its dark mood fix from the whole Hodgins/Angela/Wendell triangle.

Sid rolled his eyes as he handed a pink bunny a tray of drinks. "I think the whole MRI scene was pretty funny."

Rebecca giggled as she remembered it. "And I love how Brennan agreed with Seeley to keep quiet about their reactions."

"Hodgins finding out which kind of gun?" Cam shuddered. "Effective, but rather creepy."

"Lots of nice red herrings, too," David approved.

"And such a lovely B/B moment at the end," Perotta sighed. "Sitting there together, looking at the stars…"

"And Tempe joking about being an alien," Jared grinned. "I have to say my brother brings out the best in her."

Sully started choking on soap bubbles again. Michael shrugged. "The idea of aliens being anthropologists? Very intriguing."

"So a good one?" Sid asked, pulling out a large mushroom and cheese pizza from the oven.

"Yup," everyone chorused. Even Sully said yes, albeit in a choked voice.

"Okay, so let's chill out before the new episode," Sid said. "I'll start getting things organized."

"Good," Michael said, standing. "Could I possibly borrow a laptop, Sid? There's something I need to do…"

Rolling his eyes, Sid flipped his towel over his shoulder and glared at Michael. "NO laptops! Is there anyone here who _hasn't_ been trying to hack into Bookworm1958's Netflix account?"

The black angst bunny's hand shot up, but it looked surprised to be the only one.

Sid shook his head, feeling a headache coming on.

Yup, things were _definitely_ getting weirder.

**A/N2: Nope, I've never watched the X-Files. I guess maybe I should check it out, eh?**


	13. The Mastodon in the Room

**A/N: So yeah, I decided to dust this off and return to my reviews of BONES. I hope people are still interested in this little parody. And I hope you appreciate I actually got this done in a timely fashion!**

**Please note spoilers will abound as always so you will have to read at your own risk!**

**Feedback as always is welcome!**

* * *

**The Black Hole's Look at "The Mastodon in the Room"**

Sid took a long look at The Black Hole, the place that had long been a haven for characters that BONES fans hated because they posed a threat to the B/B relationship.

Boxes were stacked along the walls. The bar had a thin layer of dust on its surface. Chairs were on top of the tables.

And, in the middle of the room, a huge statue of a prehistoric fanfic bunny dominated the area.

With a sigh, Sid turned to confront the small army of fanfic bunnies behind him. The fluffy helpers, armed with brooms, mops, and polishing cloths looked back at him with hopeful expressions.

"The statue goes," he told them.

Ignoring the wails behind him, Sid turned back to the room and took a deep breath. Bookwormlady had finally told him it was time.

The Black Hole was open for business again.

#

"Sid, I can't tell you how much I missed this place!" Jared said as the lights came up. "Not just watching the episodes, but this is a great place!"

"Thanks, Jared," Sid said as he began to load trays with food and drink. "So, let's hear from the newest customer of The Black Hole first."

Everyone turned to look at Hannah, who sat at the bar and appeared uncomfortable. "Well, can I get something straight first?" she said. "I've heard people giving Booth…I mean Seeley…I mean…what do I call him?"

"We don't know yet," Sid said. "You appear in next week's episode."

Hannah let out a frustrated sigh. "Well…anyway, people are saying he got over Dr. Brennan quickly and didn't give her enough of a chance. Please! He told her he wanted to be with her 30, 40, 50 years…that he knew they were meant to be…and she shot him down!"

"He could've pushed," Sully said from his end of the bar.

"Ugh," Tessa shuddered. "Like a creepy stalker thing? She made it plain she didn't want to pursue a relationship together."

"But she was hurt when he said how serious it was," Rebecca mused as she sipped her water. "He didn't notice."

"Seeley's a guy," Jared shrugged. "We don't always notice stuff like that."

"What about the rest of the episode?" Sid asked.

"Caroline was awesome," Will said as he sampled some chili-cheese French fries. "And she has some pull, to be able to contact Booth and Brennan like she did."

"And what's up with Brennan not being in contact with anyone?" Hannah asked. "I mean, in this day and age?"

"I'll admit, that's hard to buy," David mused. "But Tempe was maybe doing a little running at that point. Speaking of which, you were awfully hard on her, Cam."

"I stand by what I said," Cam retorted. "We had a great thing going and when she and Booth left, we lost it. Let's face it, there wouldn't be a show without those two."

"Granted," said Catherine. "And when they first saw each other…they were happy to be back together, you could see that. How could Seeley just up and leave, though?"

"Hart Hanson says," Jared started, then paused as everyone bowed their head at the mention of their creator, "that Seel was a civilian contractor. Makes sense but they should've spelled that out."

"There was a nice moment with Parker," Rebecca cut in. "And I'm glad they solved both cases."

"And Angela and Hodgins are going to have a baby!" said Cam. "Though I'm not supposed to know about that yet."

"Tempe seems to be more emotional now, doesn't she?" Sully mused as he accepted a club soda from a sulking black angst fanfic bunny. "Hey, Sid, what's got the bunnies in such a foul mood?"

"Decorating issues," Sid said cryptically. "And yes, Bookwormlady noticed that. Brennan seems to be trying to relate to people better."

"There was a nice Angela/Brennan moment," Peyton added as she dug into some Dutch apple pie. "But it looks like the Sweets/Daisy relationship is on the rocks."

Everyone chuckled as they remembered Daisy in her underwear and Sweets with his new look. They wondered if Sweets would return to his professional look or keep the facial hair.

Michael frowned. "I find the cases were rather simple to solve. If I had been hired while Tempe was gone I'm sure I would've made some progress."

"Well," Sid said, "the gang is back and it looks like we have angst, cases, and maybe some fun stuff to look forward to. Everyone agree?"

There were a chorus of "yeses," then Hannah spoke up. "Do you think…I mean, am I destroying the chances of a B/B relationship?"

Everyone looked at each other and burst out laughing. Sully raised his glass. "Hannah, you might be in the running for being as hated as me, but trust me – none of us have managed to come between them, you won't either."

Hannah grimaced. She'd had a taste of the fan's ire already, but maybe they'd come to love her. Maybe?

But she was glad The Black Hole was back as a haven for characters like her. Just in case.

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**A/N2: So yeah, I think people are giving Booth unnecessary grief here. No, I'm not crazy about Hannah, but maybe this'll wake Booth and Brennan up. And what is the poor guy supposed to do? Pine away after Brennan tells him flat out no way?**

**Anyway, I'm looking forward to what the new season will bring. Hope you are too!**


	14. The Couple in the Cave

**A/N: Sorry I took several days to update. I didn't get a chance to really rewatch the episode until today. I'm not sure how good this review is - I'm sure I forgot something - but at least it's done, right?**

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**The Black Hole's Look at "The Couple in the Cave."**

When the lights came up in the room, Hannah found herself unable to meet anyone's eyes. This episode was the first one she'd been in – did people like her? Hate her?

A touch on her knee made her look up. The black angst fanfic bunny smiled at her as he handed her a glass of Diet Dr. Pepper. Then he hopped over to a table where Tessa, Rebecca, and Catherine sat.

Great. Of course the angst bunny would love her.

"You know, Hannah," Sid said, "I don't think you came off badly this episode." He handed her a slice of French Silk pie with a smile.

"Oh sure, Sid," Sully said from the other end of the bar. "After that last scene with Tempe looking so lost and sad? You saying there aren't fanfic writers sharpening their blades as we speak?"

"People will blame Booth for that," Hacker said as he tore apart a soft pretzel. "Or they'll say Tempe got what she wanted – she's the one who didn't want a relationship."

"But she did look so sad," Catherine sighed. "I mean, she's trying to hide it but clearly she is affected by seeing Hannah and Seeley together."

"She tried to hide it," David spoke up. "But even that intern Clark saw through that."

"How about Clark?" Jared said. "He said what a lot of fans were thinking. And a lot of us as well. I mean, Seeley, Tempe, get a d-"

He stopped in midsentence and started choking as pretty soap bubbles came pouring out of his mouth. Hannah stared, her fork halfway to her mouth. She'd heard Sid say that Bookwormlady had a thing against profanity but this was the first time she'd seen the penalty enacted.

"Well," Cam said after an awkward pause, "Hodgins is obviously taken with you, Hannah."

"Better not interfere with Hodgela too," Sully muttered into his drink.

Everyone, including Hannah, nodded. No one wanted to mess with Hodgela, not with Bookwormlady firmly behind it.

Tessa leaned back in her chair and sighed. "Seeley looked hot this episode, didn't he?"

The men rolled their eyes as all the women sighed. But the men knew Bookwormlady that Seeley Booth was quite good-looking, and so they knew better then to complain.

"Does no one care about the case?" Michael asked, standing and stretching. "Two people were murdered, remember?"

"Yes, that's true," Rebecca said. "But really, while the case had its interesting moments the focus on this episode was the Hannah-Seeley-Dr. Brennan triangle."

Hannah shifted on her stool, watching the varicolored fanfic bunnies serving everyone in the paneled room. "I don't know if I want to think of this as a 'triangle.' I mean, I know it looks like that, but Booth has moved on, right? He kept saying he was happy."

"Yeah, I think my brother was protesting a wee bit too much," Jared said as he bit into a slice of mushroom and cheese pizza. "Even that kid psychiatrist saw that."

"And did you catch the look on Booth's and Sweets' faces when Dr. Brennan admitted fantasizing about being with Booth?" Cam nodded. "Took them completely by surprise."

Hannah looked down at the floor. "Do you think he still loves her?"

"Bookwormlady does," Sid said as he wiped down the bar with a white cloth. "She thought Booth's saying that past acts done in love were still love even if the person had moved on."

Hannah sighed. "But he said there's nothing between them. Do you think he's been less than honest?"

"He might be lying to himself," Tessa said softly.

No one said anything for a moment after that. Then Sid flipped his cloth onto his shoulder. "Bookwormlady liked the undercurrents in this episode and Hannah, she thinks you'll be good for the B/B relationship."

With a sigh Hannah said, "Whether I want it to or not?"

"Welcome to our world," Sully said, raising his glass in a toast.

Everyone sighed at that. Even the fanfic bunnies were subdued, except for the black angst bunny who couldn't stop smiling. With all the angst flying around after the episode, how could he be anything but happy?

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**AN2: So, like Hannah? Hate her? Agree with my thoughts, or violently disagree? Hit the review button and let me know!**


	15. The Maggots in the Meathead

**A/N: Hope people are still enjoying this little parody of mine! So far I'm liking this season, even with all the angst.**

**Just a heads up - I will be out of town for a while, so the next couple of reviews may run later than usual. Please be patient with me, I'm trying this season to keep up.**

**I've said it elsewhere, but I'll say it again - I don't own "Bones."**

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**The Black Hole's Look at "The Maggots in the Meathead."**

As the lights came up, Hannah suppressed a sigh. She loved all the scenes she was getting with Seeley, but she wondered if every episode was going to feature a sad looking Temperance.

Sully grumbled while suppressing a yawn. "Man, I'm going to lose my most hated status!"

"You want it back?" Hannah snapped. "Because trust me, it's not fun to hear the fans take me apart!"

"Hey, guys," Jared said, suppressing a yawn, "we're all in the same boat here, chill out."

"Jared's right," Sid said. "All of you are here because someone hates you." He began handing out trays of food and drink to the fanfic bunnies, all of who were struggling with yawns.

"Temperance's study of the Guido tribe proved quite helpful in this case," Michael said as he accepted a gnger ale and basket of onion rings from a pink bunny.

A mumber of snickers greeted that statement. "It was amazing," David chuckled. "I've never seen her like that before, and it was terrific."

"Seeley was great as well," Rebecca chimed in. "Did you see how he came to her defense when that one suspect pushed her?"

"And how he was gonna throw it down with that jerk," Perotta added. "Handing his coat and gun to Dr. Brennan…I bet Bookwormlady liked that part."

"Yup," Sid agreed, squriting some whipped cream on a hot fudge banana sundae for Hannah. "And the episode was funnier than she expected it to be – she never saw 'Jersey Shore,' you know?"

"Really?" Hacker said thoughtfully. "I wonder…"

Sid pointed a finger at the deputy director. "No hacking into Bookwormlady's Netflix account! That goes for everyone!"

There was some grumbling, and Will choked up soap bubbles for trying to express his disappointment in colorful language.

When Will was done gagging, Cam spoke up. "I'm just hoping we can keep Mr. Fisher out of the mental hospital. Every time he yawns, I get nervous."

All the fanfic bunnies stopped in their tracks and yawned in unison.

"What's up with THEM?" Tessa asked, fighting a sudden urge to yawn right along with the bunnies.

"Yawning is catching," Sid sighed. "They got it bad."

"I think you guys are moving awfully fast moving in together," Catherine said to Hannah. "I mean, you haven't known each other that long."

"And I'm glad Tempe warned you about hurting Booth," Jared added as he chewed on a mozzerella cheese stick. "She cares about him – how can people not see that?"

"I see it," Hannah said defensively. "She's a good friend to Seeley."

"She told you they're close," Cam said. "Doesn't that bother you?"

"Apparently not," Hannah shrugged. She licked some whipped cream off her spoon. "Seeley thanked ME for the phone, after all."

"But the look on his face when Temperence left…" Michael let the statement hang, and everyone thought about that last minute of the episode.

"Some canon stuff," Jason said after the short silence. "Booth doesn't wear cologne."

"And he makes mac and cheese," Tessa mused. "I wonder, did he get the recipe from Dr. Brennan?"

"I bet his 'recipe' comes out of a box," Sully smirked.

The joke broke the lingering tension in the room and everyone laughed.

"Well, it's a short review, but overall a good episode," Sid said. "Good work everyone, let's see if we can keep it up!"

All the inhabitants of The Black Hole went back to their food and drink. Sully shot a glance at Hannah, seated at the other end of the gleaming bar.

"Don't worry," he told her. "It'll probably get worse before it gets better."

"Thanks," Hannah groaned. "I hope someone kills you in a fanfic, Sully."

"Oh, they will," Sully muttered, satisfaction and fear warring inside him. "Don't worry, they will."


	16. The Body and the Bounty

**A/N: Sorry this took so long! But I was traveling and such so it took some time to see the episode twice (I try to watch at least twice before reviewing) and then get my head together for the review. Hope it was worth the wait!**

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**The Black Hole's Look at "The Body and the Bounty"**

Hannah Burley was in a foul mood when she stumbled in to The Black Hole, clutching her stomach. Blood oozed from the wound and she sank to her knees, crying out for Sid in a weak voice.

The keeper of the mysterious safe haven for characters "Bones" fans hate was at her side in a moment with a chocolate milkshake. "It's gonna be fine, Hannah…just drink this down."

She sucked in the magical chocolate gratefully, glad that the mysterious benefactor known only as Bookwormlady had provided this avenue of rescue from the wrath of fanfic writers. Even if the runors were true and the woman actually wrote fanfic at one time…

Recovered from her wound, Hannah stood up, her hand rubbing her abdomen. "I was shot by some random bad guy," she sighed.

"Yes!" cheered Sully. "I knew it!" He went to get his winnings from Cam, who was in charge of the bets that time.

Meanwhile, the multicolored fanfic bunnies were sitting in front of the huge flat screen television, watching yet another episode of "Bunsen Jude, the Science Dude." Every time he said the word "Amazing"! the bunnies took a drink. Since it was Diet Dr. Pepper, all the bunnies were sober. But since the Science Dude said that word a lot, the bunnies were tying up the bathrooms.

Hannah shook her head as she slumped onto a barstool. Cam noticed. "What's wrong? We've all been injured by fanfic writers, you can't get upset every time it happens."

"It's not that," Hannah sighed as she accepted a virgin pina colada from Sid. "I'm so tired of people thinking Seeley is a jerk for dating me!"

"Fans want Booth and Brennan together," Cam shrugged. "Your relationship with him is seen as a barrier to that."

"I know," Hannah snapped. "But they're writing him as a person who doesn't care about Dr. Brennan anymore, who treats her horribly, who gave up on her too quickly…"

"Yeah," Jared broke in. "What about that? Tempe doesn't bother to stay in contact with Seeley for the whole time they're away? No one ever mentions that."

"But still, the goal of B/B shippers is for the two of them to be together," Cam said patiently. "Sid, Bookwormlady is a B/B shipper, right? What's her take?"

"Yeah, she's a shipper," Sid nodded. "But she thinks people are being rough on Booth. She hopes that the relationship with Hannah will draw the two of them closer.":

"They had some good moments together in this episode," Agent Perotta said.

"Amazing!" the bunnies chorused as they took a drink.

Sid shook his head and turned off the television set. "We're reviewing," he told the bunnies when they wailed in protest. "Come help get this food served."

"That…children's scientist proved helpful in a rather juvenile way," Michael sniffed.

"Aw, come on, he was pretty cool," David argued. "And another lab experiment! That was fun!"

"The Dude was interesting," Rebecca agreed as she munched a loaded potato skin, "But where was Parker in the last scene? He should've been there with Seeley."

Everyone nodded at that. Parker should indeed have been there.

"As Peyton said, there were some good B/B moments," Tessa said with a toss of her blond hair. "Their chat about the perfect murder? Quite funny."

"And Seeley encouraging her to go on the show? The two of them together on that park bench eating?" Jared grinned. "Good times."

"And I have to admit they clearly had a connection at the end of the episode," Hannah sighed.

"I can't believe Tempe agreed to wear that ridiculous outfit," Michael groused.

"She was amazing!" Sully argued.

"Amazing!" the bunnies chorused and took another drink. There was a flurry of trays being laid aside as all the bunnies stampeded for the bathroom.

Sid sighed. "You had to use the word, didn't you?" he asked Sully.

Everyone laughed. Cam smiled as she spoke up. "Regarding the case, everyone was quite helpful in solving it. Booth even pegged the murder weapon, thanks to the Science Dude."

"It was a good episode," Hacker said. "And Caroline is always a treat to see. I wish I could show up, though."

"No you don't," Hannah said. She rubbed her stomach again.

"Well, we're all caught up now, and there's a new episode this week, so everyone relax and eat," Sid said with a grin. "Bunnies! Get back in here!"

Hannah tried to relax, but found herself unable to do so. She had a bad feeling about her future…especially if some upcoming spoilers were true…

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**AN/2: So yeah, I'm getting a little tired of the Booth bashing. Sue me.**

**But I did think this episode was "AMAZING!" g**


	17. The Bones that Weren't

**A/N: I'm so sorry for the delay! I'm blaming it on two factors: one being National Novel Writing Month (I hit 36k words today!) and the other being Fable 3.**

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**The Black Hole's Look at "The Bones that Weren't:"**

As soon as the episode was over, everyone turned and stared at Hannah. Sully broke the silence. "Seriously? You made Tempe give you her sunglasses?"

Hannah rolled her eyes. "I was bonding with her," she said to the room in general. "Sharing a moment. I thought we could be friends."

"It made you look shallow, Rebecca said. "I mean, trolling for a gift? Please."

Hannah felt her face grow hot. "I'd been shot, all right? Maybe my judgment was off." She sent a pleading look to Sid. "Bookwormlady doesn't think I'm shallow, does she?"

Sid was busy loading trays for the fanfic bunnies, all of whom were busy handing out new toothbrushes to everyone. He shrugged. "She doesn't think you came off looking good with that request. After all, Dr. Brennan DID save your life."

Hannah slumped against the bar, frustrated. "Doesn't anyone care that I got shot? And almost died?"

"Tempe cared," Jared said. "She cared enough to look at your x-rays. I know Seeley cared too – he went all protective mode on you."

"Not just Hannah," Catherine said. "You see how he stepped between Dr. Brennan and that insane ballet teacher when she went after Dr. Brennan?"

"And there was some nice banter between Seeley and Dr. Brennan," Tessa said. "In the car, and outside the room where the killer and the insane dance teacher were. They are still quite good together."

"Not if you talk to some fans," muttered one of the guys at the large table near the back of the room.

"Well, of course they're good together," Hannah said. "I mean, did you see the look they exchanged when Temperance saved my life?"

"There was some very interesting science and special effects in this episode," Michael broke in. "Of course, some of it was inaccurate - there's no way a skeleton could have been generated that fast in reality."

"But it sure looked cool," David said as he sipped a cup of coffee. Everyone nodded, agreeing that watching the faux skeleton rise from the plastic was rather impressive.

"I wonder if the way Hodgins lifted the handprint was accurate?" Jared mused.

No one knew the answer to that question. For a moment, the only sounds in The Black Hole were those of people eating and drinking.

"Good thing Sweets knew Shakespeare," Cam said. "It turned out to be quite useful with that one suspect. A rather amusing part of the case."

"So was the part when Dr. Brennan had Dr. Hodgins imitate a corpse," Rebecca said.

"This feels like we're trying to stretch this review out," Sully complained. "And why are we so late with this one anyway?"

"Bookwormlady's been busy," Sid said. "She explains it to her readers. She's gonna try to get us caught up before the next new episode."

Hannah gave a sigh. At least she didn't appear in the next two episodes, though she was mentioned in one of them and that was sure to raise the ire of the fans. She glanced at the door and shuddered. She didn't dare leave The Black Hole right now. Not with all those fanfic writers out there…waiting, just waiting to kill her off…

**A/N2. Sorry this review is so short - I liked the episode but didn't have a lot to say about it.**

**I'm serious about trying to catch up before the new episode in December. Will do my best to get the next 2 reviews up this week!**


	18. The Shallow in the Deep

**A/N: So I'm almost caught up and I'm going to try to get my review for "The Babe in the Bar" up before new episode this week!**

**Hope everyone had a great Thanksgiving...**

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**The Black Hole's Look at "The Shallow in the Deep"**

When the lights came up at the end of the episode, everyone took a deep breath. "Wow," Sully said, shaking his head. "I have to say, Cam, that was a powerful ending to the show."

Cam ducked her head. "It was a very powerful situation. I didn't want it to effect me, but…"

"It was very moving," said Catherine. "And, to be honest, had a lot more emotional resonance than the case did."

"Yeah, the case this time? Pfft," Jared said, going to the bar and getting a glass of ginger ale from Sid. "I mean, it almost seemed like an afterthought."

But the start of it was kind of fun," Tessa said as she swept back her long blond hair. She glanced around. "Um, Sid? Where are the fanfic bunnies?"

Sid sighed. "They were a little bored with tonight's episode. So I gave them the day off."

"Well, Tessa's right about the first part of the episode being fun," David said. "I mean, watching Tempe list all of Booth's injuries and him worrying that he was falling apart…

"And she admitted she cared about him," Rebecca pointed out. "I wonder if fans caught that?"

"She also told him he was past his prime," Hannah said. "But I have a question – what was on that napkin he folded up after that woman came on to him? He wouldn't get her phone number, would he?"

"Seeley doesn't cheat on his girls," Jared said. "But yeah, that looked weird. The whole episode seemed like it was out of order – you weren't even mentioned, Hannah."

"I bet the fans loved that," Hannah griped. She was feeling the hatred of the fans grow from day to day, and it was not a comfortable feeling.

"Yeah, Bookwormlady's wondering if you're more hated than Sully now," Sid said. "She's been trying to find out if people hated him as much as you."

Sully shot Sid a dark look. "Fans hate me still. Even after 4 years."

"Not all fans," Sid reminded him. "And not all fans hate Hannah…just a lot of them."

"This is NOT making me feel better," Hannah said, digging in to her hot fudge sundae. "Can we talk about something else?"

"Dr. Sweets and Daisy?" Michael offered. "There seemed to be a great deal of time devoted to them…"

Cam nodded. "I hope they don't start using the Egyptology room like Hodgins and Angela…I had to burn the security tapes."

"But there's a parallel to Temperance and Agent Booth," Michael said. "Both Dr. Sweets and Miss Wick have more in common than it seemed at first, and their getting back together could be a foreshadowing of the two partners finally coming together."

"And what about me?" Hannah said. "I realize I'm going at some point, but how?"

"Bookwormlady has a theory," Sid said, "but she's sworn me to secrecy."

"What?" Hannah nearly choked on her ice cream. "Why?"

"It involves other spoilers for upcoming episodes and she's concerned that readers here might not know about them," Sid explained. "She tries to be sensitive about things like that."

Hannah gave Sid a pleading look but the bartender/owner of The Black Hole ignored it, handing Sully a refill on his iced tea. She sighed. "All right, fine. But you have to admit this was not the best episode so far this season."

Everyone agreed with that. "It had some moments, but overall, not so great," Will summed up as he carried a large pizza back to the table of many of Brennan's boyfriends.

"Yup, that covers it," Sid said. "Okay, hopefully we'll be all caught up before the new episode, but you guys can stretch your legs if you want. Just be careful out there."

Hannah finished her ice cream and glanced at the door. She slumped back onto her barstool, wondering how long the fans would stay mad and just what Bookwormlady thought her fate would be…

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**A/N2: So, I have 2 questions: **

**1) Was Sully hated as much as Hannah?**

**2) Anyone want to know my theory on what happens to Hannah?**

**If you want to answer, hit the cute review button...**


	19. The Babe in the Bar

**A/N: First off, thank you guys for your responses to my questions! I do plan to answer each review, just wanted to get this up before the new episode tonight.**

**Second, I'm now all caught up on my reviews. Hope that makes you happy!**

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**The Black Hole's Look at "The Babe in the Bar."**

Sully and Hannah stared at Sid in disbelief. "You're sure?" Sully finally asked.

"Yup," Sid said as he wiped down the bar. "Bookwormlady read the reviews. Hannah's hated a lot more. One reviewer even said they didn't dislike you, Sully."

Sully started to swear and then began coughing up pretty soap bubbles. Hannah shook her head. She knew that Bookwormlady was a Christian, didn't like profanity and thus punished anyone in The Black Hole for trying to use it. But it was still odd to watch.

She sighed. "So I bet they REALLY hate me after this episode."

"Actually," Cam said, "the fans seem to really be angry at Booth for ditching his friends to spend time with you."

Sully spat out a final soap bubble. "Come on, look at the choice he had: sit through an uncomfortable gathering or go home to a hot babe. Easy choice."

"But we're his friends," Cam said. "He picked Hannah over us."

"Think it'll play that way in the next episodes?" Jared asked. "Or will everyone still be friendly with him?"

"Bookwormlady bets friendly," Sid said. "Yo! Fanfic bunnies! Get out here!"

The fanfic bunnies, who'd spent the day at Bookwormlady's house playing on her Xbox 360 and making a mess, came out of the back room. The black angst bunny gave Sully a sympathetic pat on the back before joining its fellows at the bar.

"So," Sid said. "Anyone not want anything chocolate?"

"What is with the creators, anyway?" Rebecca asked. "The episode before this, it was cannoli, this episode, chocolate – are they trying to make us hate dessert?"

"I think Dr. Sweets was correct," Michael said. "We shouldn't let something like this destroy what we love. I'll take some chocolate mousse, Sid."

With that, people placed their orders, trying not to think of the disgusting body in this episode.

"It was an interesting case," Cam mused as she accepted a piece of tiramisu from a pink fanfic bunny (she was still off chocolate). "Certainly an unusual place to find a body."

"I find it more interesting that you are going behind your daughter's back, Cam," Jared said after taking a swallow of his Diet Dr. Pepper. "She's made it clear where she wants to go, and you're –"

"- making sure she has options," Cam said, her cheeks flushing. "I care about her future – it's my duty to ensure she has the best."

"You should let her pick," Peyton said. "She's not stupid."

"I know she's not," Cam said, "but – but I want what's best for her. That Maine college – she could do so much better."

"But isn't she going to be furious when she finds out what you've done?" David asked.

"She – maybe she won't find out," Cam said.

Everyone pondered that thought, wondering if the creators were going to revisit this question in the future, and what would come of it.

"So, getting back to the case," Cam said, wanting to change the subject. "I thought it was nice to have Mr. Nigel-Murray back. And the victim…well, she wasn't very nice, but certainly didn't deserve her fate."

"But the case gave Tempe an excuse to diss love again," David said. "And did Booth actually agree with her statement that 'love is an idiot?'"

"I think his 'yes' was more of a, 'I don't want to talk about it' thing than him agreeing with her," Catherine said. "I still think he looked bad taking off like that…"

"But the whole revelation thing was funny," Jared grinned. "Poor Hodgins, wanting to spring it on everyone but they all knew."

"But Temperance didn't guess," Hannah pointed out. "Angela did tell her."

"Yeah, but that's a best friend kind of thing," Tessa shrugged from the table she shared with Rebecca and Peyton. "Of course she'd tell her."

"And in the end, what was important was that we were all happy for Hodgins and Angela," Cam sighed.

"Yowza," chorused the fanfic bunnies. Everyone winced, but realized after the number of times Booth and Brennan had used the term the bunnies had to get it out once.

"The episode was okay," Will said, "wasn't it?"

"Yeah," Sully said while everyone else nodded. "Okay. But I'm ready for some new episodes."

"Well good," Sid said, "because we're all caught up now and there's a new episode coming up. So get ready."

Sully looked down the wooden bar to where Hannah sat, gazing down at her French silk pie. "I still can't believe you're more hated than I am…"

Hannah sighed. She could. She really, really could.


	20. The Killer in the Crosshairs

**A/N: I am very, very, very, very, very (is that enough verys?) sorry that I haven't updated in a while. Life got in the way and a couple of the episodes...let's say they weren't very inspiring on the review front.**

**I do intend to go back and review at least some of the episodes I've skipped (I will also take requests - any episodes you want the gang's take on?), probably during haitus (is there ANOTHER one coming up? This is getting old). **

**In any event, I hope you forgive me and enjoy this latest installment!**

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**The Black Hole's Look at "The Killer in the Crosshairs"**

"We're back! We're back!" the multicolored fanfic bunnies chirped as they hopped around the main room of the mysterious place known as The Black Hole.

"Okay, okay!" Sid called out. "You bunnies help me serve this stuff up while we talk about the episode."

"We've skipped so many," Hannah groused. She had not been in a good mood for quite a while. Between her fate in the show and much of the fan's ire, she did not see much to be happy about.

That's life," Sid said, handing her a hot fudge sundae. "What about this particular episode?"

"Lots of great scenes for Seeley," Jared commented. "It was great to see him wrestle with his past as a sniper."

"Yes, and Sweets was helpful to him in that," said Cam, "So was Dr. Brennan."

"Speaking of Dr. Brennan, did anyone else love the opening scene with them running together?" Peyton Perotta asked as she took a Diet Dr. Pepper from the black angst bunny. "Agent Booth certainly looked like he was making a play for her."

The women sighed, knowing that Bookwormlady, the invisible patron of The Black Hole, had also loved that scene.

"It's like they've got their mojo back together again," Hacker commented, nibbling a slice of pizza. "They were really in sync, even with Temperance's comparing Agent Booth to Broadsky."

"I do not understand why Broadsky didn't kill Booth while in his apartment," Michael said. "Don't misunderstand me, the scene was quite good, but why let him live?"

"Broadsky doesn't see Booth as one of the bad guys – yet," Sully offered. "But if Booth tries to stop him again? All bets are off."

"Speaking of things not understood," David said as he accepted a plate of loaded potato skins from the blue fanfic bunny, "why didn't the men's room show up in Angela's scan? Along with the women's room, of course."

Everyone shrugged, not able to answer that question.

"Yeah, it bothered Bookwormlady a little, but only a little," Sid agreed. "The rest of the episode was so great she gave the writers a pass on that one."

"I loved Caroline in this," Catherine said. "She really cares about Seeley, though she tries to hide it with her bluster."

"And she and Seeley were wonderful in the interrogation scenes," Rebecca said. "Seeley was so intense in that second one – he's so. so…"

"Yeah," all the women sighed. The men rolled their eyes but knew better then to say anything.

"What about Angela's dad wanting to name her baby – did he really say Staccato Mamba?" Tessa asked.

Everyone shuddered at the thought of a child being saddled with such a name.

"Hodgins showed some backbone standing up to the guy," Mark said. "But wow, another tattoo…."

"Hey, sometimes standing up has its price," Joel shrugged. He glanced over at Hannah, then continued. "The end had a nice B/B moment, didn't it?"

Hannah slammed down her glass on the bar counter. She started to swear, and suddenly began choking on pretty soap bubbles that poured from her mouth (Bookwormlady had a thing about profanity and didn't allow it in The Black Hole).

Sully gave her a feeble smile and held up his water in a toast. "I feel your pain, Hannah. But I'm forced to agree that it was the best B/B scene we've had in a while."

"This was definitely one of the better episodes this season," Jared said. "I hope they keep it up."

"Amen to that," Sid said as he pat Hannah on the back. "Now everyone chill out and get ready for the next episode – these things don't review themselves."

Hannah spat out the last of the soap bubbles and sighed. "Sid? I know we don't have alcohol, but is there anything you have that'll make me feel better?"

"Just leave it to me, Hannah," Sid said, as he began to mix ingredients together.

With a sigh, Hannah rested her head on her hand. For her, at least, it was gonna be a long rest of the season.


	21. The Blackout in the Blizzard

**A/N: Sorry this took so long. Life has a way of making me procrastinate. But at least I got this done before the next new episode?**

**Anyone else excited that they'll be seven episodes in a row? **

**If you're still reading, thanks for putting up with me. I hope this was worth the wait.**

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**The Black Hole's Look at "The Blackout in the Blizzard"**

Sid watched as the fanfic bunnies formed another conga line and wove their way around the tables, chanting "They set a date! They set a date!" He looked at the patrons of the mysterious place known as The Black Hole and saw they had finally gotten tired of the celebrations. So he clapped his hands. "Guys! Guys!"

He had ro raise his voice to get the furry creatures' attention. Once he had it, he said, "We still have to review the episode, okay? So give it a rest."

"Yeah," Sully said, rubbing his temples. "I'm getting a headache."

"But it IS exciting," Cam pointed out. "I mean, it looks like it's not a question IF Booth and Brennan will get together, but when."

The bunnies cheered Cam's statement and would've started up the conga line again if Sid hadn't glared at them. "Bunnies! Come on, people need food and drink. Hop to it."

With a groan, the bunnies came to the bar and picked up the trays that Sid had prepared. As they passed around food and drink, Sid said, "Okay. Bookwormlady is happy with that last scene as well, but there was other good stuff too. Who wants to go first?"

Michael spoke up from the large table in the back. "The science here was quite interesting. The ways the team found to get around no electricity were fascinating."

David nodded. "I wonder if it was all valid? It all looked pretty cool."

"Well, that was all well and good," Katherine said. "But can we talk a minute about Hodgins and Angela? I teared up when Hodgins started to cry. It was such a moving scene."

All the women (and a couple of the men) reached for tissues while they nodded. "I thought their last scene together was well done," Rebecca sniffed. "I like how Hodgins convinced Angela to take a positive outlook."

"Hodgela was great in this episode," Peyton agreed, "but there was also a lot of B/B as well. Stuck in that elevator, they had to deal with some issues."

"Seeley still seems pretty mad," Hannah said from her place at the bar. She stared into her pink lemonade. "He doesn't even want to hear my name."

The black angst bunny pat her on the back as he went by. "Well," Hacker said, "you did kind of break his heart."

"Sweets really needs to learn when to leave something alone," Mark pointed out as he picked up a slice of mushroom pizza. "Booth really didn't want to talk about it. And Temperance backed him up."

"They did try to face their feelings," Tessa said. "You can tell they want to be together, but it's scary for them to take that next step."

"What about the story behind the chairs?" Jared asked. "I mean, yeah, they didn't even mention me, which I don't get, but it was a really touching story about Seeley and our dad."

"They packed a lot in this episode," Tessa said.

"Anyone have anything to say about the case?" Sid asked as he wiped down the bar.

"There was a case?" Sully quipped.

"The disease made for a great ticking clock," Cam said. "Put us under the gun."

"So overall, another good episode, right?" Sid asked.

Everyone nodded. Rebecca held up a hand. "Before we close this out, anyone have a clue at what dates they wrote?"

People shook their heads. They knew the date in question was the subject of many a fanfic already, but no one was willing to go out on a limb.

"Seeley totally peeked, though," Jared grinned.

"Totally," Sully agreed. "I wonder how they'll interact in this next episode?"

"One way to find out," Sid grinned. "Okay, that's a wrap for now."

Some people went back to their food, while others stood and stretched. Sully was one of the latter. "You gonna go out, Hannah?" he asked.

She shook her head. "The fanfic writers are still after me. I might never leave."

Sully made a sympathetic noise. "It'll pass. Look at me – I can venture out now and then, without a problem. Just give 'em time."

Hannah sighed. She had no choice but to do as Sully suggested.

But how long would it take?


	22. The Change in the Game

**A/N: Hello? Anyone still out there? I'm sorry this took so long...but I did want to toss in a few comments about the last episode of the season! Hope you enjoy my rambling, and be sure to read the A/N at the end...**

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**The Black Hole's Look at "The Change in the Game"**

Everyone, including Sid and the fanfic bunnies, sat in stunned silence as the screen faded to black.

Then the fanfic bunnies began babbling at once. "They're gonna have a baby! They're gonna have a BABY! Baby! Baby!"

Hannah dropped her face into her hands. She couldn't believe it. It hadn't been that long since she'd been ejected from Seeley's life, and he was apparently quite content with how things were turning out.

She heard a plate being placed in front of her and Sid's sympathetic voice: "Here." She lifted her head to see an entire chocolate mousse cake in front of her, with a fork.

Hannah nodded her thanks and picked up the fork. Forget any thought of a diet right now, this was exactly what she needed.

"Bunnies!" Sid called out. "Calm down. We have the whole episode to discuss!"

"Seeley's gonna be a dad again," Jared said. "With Tempe. I guess they're a couple now."

"Yes, but how does Bookwormlady feel about this?" Catherine asked as she accepted an iced coffee from the black angst bunny (who was not in a good mood, things were way too cheerful around here). "She's a Christian, she'd want them to get married, right?"

"That's true," Sid agreed. "She hopes Hart Hanson will move them towards that, though she's not optimistic about that, given Brennan's views on marriage."

Everyone bowed their heads at the mention of the Creator, then Rebecca spoke up again. "They'll have a lot of issues to deal with next season. It does appear that Brennan wants Seeley a part of her life though."

"They were pretty cute together this episode," Tessa admitted. "It's clear they care about each other – even Max could see that."

"And did you see Seeley's smile when Tempe told him the baby was his?" Jared said. "It looks like Tempe's happy about it too. Good thing, yeah?"

"The case had its moments as well," Michael said, carefully lifting a loaded nacho chip to his lips. "That little girl was quite the brat however."

"What about Angela and Hodgins?" Cam said, wiping her eyes. "I mean, when Michael was born…and how sweet to add Vincent's name to his…I couldn't help tearing up."

Everyone else nodded. Bookwormlady too had been moved by the birth of Angela and Hodgins' baby, even watching the episode a second time.

"So now we know what happened to Tempe and Booth last episode," Sully said, nursing his ginger ale (like Hannah, he wasn't entirely happy with the outcome of the episode, given he still had feelings for the lovely doctor. "But was this a little much? Tempe getting pregnant? I mean, they're adults, they know about…you know…protection."

"Heat of the moment?" David suggested. "They probably weren't thinking clearly that night."

"Well, the B/B shippers are probably happy now," Perotta said. "It looks like Booth and Brennan are together and will have lots of things to deal with in Season 7."

The fanfic bunnies finished delivering food and drink around the room and began to whisper together in a group. The blue bunny went to Sid and muttered into his ear.

The proprietor of the mysterious place called The Black Hole nodded. "Yeah, we need to talk about that. People, listen up a moment."

The room grew quiet. "What's up, Sid?" Sully asked. "You look disturbed."

Sid sighed. "No one panic, okay? It's just that…Bookwormlady's thinking about not doing reviews anymore."

"What?" several people cried.

The black angst bunny burst into tears. Cam reached out to pat it as she spoke, her voice quivering, "She's closing us down?"

"No!" Sid said. "The Black Hole will forever be open to you and anyone else who needs its shelter. She's just worried people are fed up with her lateness and missed reviews and really don't want to read them anyway."

"But…no one's complained! Have they?" Hannah asked through a mouthful of cake.

"No," Sid said. "But given her time constraints she's not sure she'll improve. She's going to leave it to readers. Do they want the reviews or not?"

"What'll we do during the summer hiatus?" Tessa asked, wiping her mouth with a napkin.

"She might go back and review a couple of episodes she missed," Sid said. "She hasn't decided. But you guys shouldn't worry – as long as there are fanfic writers, The Black Hole will continue."

Everyone sighed in relief at that last statement. Conversation buzzed in the room, a couple of people ventured out of The Black Hole to brave the wrath of the fanfic writers. The fanfic bunnies began an intense game of Angry Birds on the huge television screen.

Sid cleaned some glasses and smiled. No matter what, The Black Hole would continue to exist in some form or fashion. Bookwormlady wouldn't have it any other way.

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**A/N: So, yeah, I'm thinking of quitting reviewing. There are time issues, and while I enjoy rehashing the episodes, others might be ready for this to stop. Opinions? And, if there's an episode I missed reviewing you want my take on, please let me know. I'd be happy to oblige!**

**Until next time, and thanks for reading...**


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